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Post by epicgordan on Jan 12, 2018 23:15:57 GMT -5
This place has been pretty dire as of late. Figured I should do something about it. How about I talk about major 2018 releases? Here's how it will work. I'll review on average about one new theatrical release per week. Those reviews will have their own thread devoted to it. But the films I skim over, I will cover briefly right here, right now.
For example, last week's new releases were Molly's Game and Insidious: The Last Key. As I actually saw Molly's Game, I'll give it its own review thread (spoilers: It's on par in quality with my top five best films of 2017, though where I'd rate it remains to be seen).
Insidious: The Last Key? Was not worth my time. Insidious: The Last Key is the fourth film in the Insidious film series. Decent ideas here and there, but it just feels stale and boring. The vast majority of horror movies are through all intents and purposes, boring as hell. So much so that I managed to marathon the entire Paranormal Activity film series, and my thoughts were pretty much, "Good ideas here and there, but it's pretty clear Blumhouse is simply doing what they can to cling on to this franchise."
At least R-rated comedies go to great lengths to either piss people off, or at the very least, make you laugh. Horror movies are largely inoffensive and are boring. And Insidious: The Last Key is basically just a continuation of making the major New Year release a horror sequel/reboot. But unlike most other major New Year releases, more people actually came to see this film than the newest Star Wars...HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Eat shit, Rian Johnson and Kathleen Kennedy!
So that's pretty much what this thread is all about. As well as discussing the newest or upcoming theatrical releases in general. I'm still debating a couple of choices this week, though through all intents and purposes, I'm probably gonna go watch Paddington 2. At least the original film was somewhat charming.
Also, I'm gonna review 12 Strong next week. If I can't find a suitable substitute to watch for Maze Runner, I'll then instead watch Phantom Thread instead.
The rest I'll simply cover as I go.
So then, what will I do over on the Review the Last Movies you Watched thread? Well, simply put, these will be reserved for movies I've watched casually and won't be reserved for movies I'm seriously considering reviewing. So...basically films that I watched on television (meaning a review of a film like King Arthur: Legend of the Sword would be suitable on said thread). Films I decide to see the theater to see will get their own thread, and films I have either decided to skip over, or have yet to decide whether to see them will be discussed here. |
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 12, 2018 23:28:40 GMT -5
I need to practice more restraint. Which is why I am doing this. But I also feel like I need to attract some attention over here, so clickbaiting is essential. Which is also why I am doing this.
This weekend's newest releases appear to be Paddington 2, Proud Mary, and The Commuter, while the once Oscar frontrunner in The Post has expanded. I'll probably rip into The Post when the time comes on the Sarcastic thread.
However, the trailers for The Commuter seemed to suggest a Hitchockian thriller that's probably going to go off the rails big time because the people making this movie either think Hitchcock is exclusively an action film director, or have no idea why Hitchcock explored scenarios that were excessively unrealistic. Or they hadn't a Hitchcock anywhere in their brains, but I digress. It's probably just a dumb January action flick starring Liam Neeson and that's about it.
And then we have Proud Mary--even if Sony was the producer for this film, I probably would have given the film a chance had they not done everything they could to bury this film and keep critics from seeing the movie. Pretty much leaving Taraji P. Henson to push the film all on her own. She's no saint in this regard--any member of the Vagina division of the feminist movement doesn't deserve to be placed on a pedestal--but at least she's busting her butt marketing spreading awareness and getting people to see the movie. So I guess I'll give her points for being a hard worker.
And now we know why Proud Mary was buried; apparently, the people that when making a callback to Blaxploitation films of the 1970's, to copy the main dynamic of Leon: The Professional and be as saccharine as possible. That would be the equivalent of shoe-horning trailers to The Land Before Time into Grindhouse. Good job, Sony!
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 16, 2018 2:01:04 GMT -5
Okay, let's go over next week's slate of victims:
12 Strong
I'm probably going to check out 12 Strong. Even though it was simply a film expanding to a wide release, American Sniper has pretty much served as a launching pad for the overall critical and commercial profitability for gritty war movies in the month of January. So in a sense, we're pretty much assured at least one good movie every January now. Last year's offering was Michael Bay's 13 Hours: The Secret Soldiers of Benghazi. 12 Strong at least looks more or less to be a continuation of that tread with a respectable cast of actors, and given a bit of a Lawrence of Arabia-esque classical epic look. Maybe not scale since I'm not anticipating this film being anywhere near that long. But I have high hopes for this one.
Den of Thieves
Now I know why January is considered the dumping ground for films too shitty to possibly make a profit during the Holiday season--most of the shit sandwiches come from Sony Pictures. And similar to the war movie, we also always seem to get that one crime drama film with a narrative too stupid to function all on its own (right alongside that one Liam Neeson action flick). Case-in-point--a film about a bunch of hip-hop gangsters that deside to break into the National Treasury or something to steal all the old money they are going to destroy anyways. I somehow have a feeling they're gonna win anyways, but come, now! If the money's going to be destroyed, then it's officially worthless garbage that you're going to be robbing anyways. You're better off robbing a candy store.
Forever My Girl
A boring romance. And apparently, it's about a guy who gave up his one true love so he could pursue fame and fortune, and he learns the err of his ways, right? It sounds novel, but it's one of the most generic and cliché types of story to the point that I'm surprised that Nicholas Sparkles has nothing to do with this film.
Bleh. I'm bored. Let's talk about some additional films expanding to wide release:
I, Tonya
A film about a figure-skater who is rather notorious. Played by Margot Robbie, who is one of the spunky and sassy-type of actresses/sex icons and perhaps one of the scarce few millennial actresses who's actually even remotely attractive. I keep hearing that it's funny, but frankly, who gives a shit about it, anyways? All we need to know is that Allison Janney is the frontrunner to win the Oscar for Best Supporting Actress. Let me guess, she's either going to make a vagina-pandering acceptance speech at the Oscars, or she's going to become bubbly-eyed and slur her words to the point that it becomes nothing more than yet another piece of acting. Fuck!
Phantom Thread
Admittedly, Daniel Day-Lewis for once actually looks like he's going to be downplaying his role rather than chewing the scenery to splinters. I don't blame him; he's pretty much hanging up the towel and calling it a career after this movie, so he's settling for something more simple and introspective. And what could be more simple and introspective than a costume drama about a dressmaker falling in love with someone who he is twice as old as. Paul Thomas Anderson is directing it, so it's not like it's totally irredeemable. But an Oscar nomination looks like a gimmie for Day-Lewis and now much else.
And finally, for Oscar predictions, I'm going to predict the following films in alphabetical order (take anywhere from 5 to all 10 of these films):
The Big Sick
Call Me By Your Name
The Darkest Hour
Dunkirk
Get out
I, Tonya
Lady Bird
The Post
The Shape of Water
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri
Honestly, even though it's clearly going to be in vain, I'm going to root for Darkest Hour, Get Out, and Lady Bird in descending order. And if Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri ends up winning the top prize, meh. I don't like the movie, but it's at least well written, directed, and acted across the board, so I guess it's fairly solid. I'm just not into it.
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 18, 2018 3:08:13 GMT -5
Speaking of Best Picture contenders, let's talk about Call Me By Your Name, because that's another steaming pile of shit that's expanding to wide releases. God, 6 movies released in one week in the middle of January!? Where's my drink? No, wait! I don't drink! Never mind!
Now don't get me wrong; I'm not a homophobe in any way, shape, matter or form. But not only is this romance greatly disturbing--especially when you consider that one of the film's stars looks like a teenager while the other is clearly a grown man in his 30's or 40's--but it's pretty much even more Hollywood political claptrap in the same vein as The Post or The Shape of Water, only without the blatantly dishonest propaganda attached to it. Instead, it's probably going to be less like Brokeback Mountain--a film that at least acknowledges the possibly severe consequences of their actions, and then reluctantly let each other go at the end--and more like Carol--a film that pretty much says, "FUCK YOU," to any semblance of moral decency; it doesn't matter that you destroy the lives of your friends and family, including your own children; so long as you're in love--especially with somebody of the same sex as you--it's A-Okay!
Either that, or you simply decide to make a generically syrupy and cloyingly sentimental romance that simply involves gay people--and probably would be compared to Nicholas Sparks or something if they were instead a straight couple. In which case, I'm gonna pass. Even most artsy romance films involving heterosexuals bore me. And that's putting it lightly.
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 18, 2018 11:44:48 GMT -5
God, yet ANOTHER movie expanding to wide release in Mary and the Witch's Flower!? I'm guessing this weekend is the same weekend that all the Oscar nominees are announced or something. Because 7 movies in one week!
Well, I have no idea what to possibly expect from a movie like Mary and the Witch's Flower. It's apparently an anime, and it looks like Studio Ghibli, and yet it isn't even made by them.
Fuck it! Might as well give it a shot tomorrow. And perhaps throw in Phantom Thread for that matter while I'm at it. A really awkward double-feature, but Southlands is the only theater near here that is screening both movies. So I guess my thoughts on 12 Strong will have to wait for another week. |
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 23, 2018 12:16:13 GMT -5
Well, the Academy Awards have just announced their nominations. I'm pretty much going to rip into each of the individual Best Picture nominees a new one:
Call Me By Your Name: I've already talked about this film in great detail since it was expanded into wide release just last week, so I'll keep this one short and sweet: This film is either a completely generic romance film only gay; or it's going to have the gay lovers destroy the lives of others around them all in the name of love because Hollywood is a cesspool of nihilistic sociopaths. Either way, the fact that it's a romance between a kid and an middle-aged adult makes this kind of creepy.
Darkest Hour: By far the best film in this year's sleight of Best Picture nominations. It's too bad it is going to be deemed too traditional and old-fashioned, and not politically charged enough to win. But if there is a God present somewhere hovering over the epitome of Sodom and Gomorrah, then Darkest Hour should win. At the very least, Gary Oldman should win his career Oscar, provided the Academy doesn't award a more politically charged alternative.
Dunkirk: The companion piece to Darkest Hour in subject matter only. Perhaps watching these two films back-to-back would elevate Dunkirk to another level of quality. But as its own film, it is dull, without much character, or much purpose to anything going on. I'm predicting this film to be a big loser at this year's Oscars.
Get Out: This year's Race Film, making it's star, Daniel Kaluuya the big upset alert to watch out for in Best Actor. If not for the fact that this film only has 4 nominations, this film would be the easy-to-pick best movie of the year at the Oscars. For a Race film, I will at least admit that it was actually pretty good. For one thing, it at least calls out positive racism. And the film is very Hitchcockian in nature. Meh.
Lady Bird: This year's Sex Film, though Saoirse Ronan isn't necessarily the frontrunner to win this award (though Laurie Metcalf might play spoiler for Allison Janney). This film only received 5 nominations, and the one critical one that it's missing is Film Editing because it's a simple film set in the early 2000's. Honestly, I'm not at all in the know-how as to why this film would even be considered a Sex Film. Probably because feminist propaganda film are so notoriously awful that they wouldn't stand a prayer at getting nominated anyways. At least Race films are easy to justify as masterpieces for the politically correct since the main characters are not required to be Mary Sue's.
Phantom Thread: I just reviewed this movie on the Review the Last Movie You've Watched thread, so there isn't much to tackle here. In short, the first half of the movie has nothing remotely happening, while the second half is about a lady trying to win the favor of a pretentious dresser/artist named...Mr. Woodcock (how the hell did I not even remember that name?). She does this by poisoning him with poisoned mushrooms every time he sleights her, and giving him a reverse Florence Nightingale effect in the process. Admittedly, this is one of those films I simply dislike rather than thinking it is objectively bad. Still, this is not a healthy relationship and I cannot possibly relate to it.
The Post: I betcha the mainstream media is really bumbed out that The Post only received one other nomination for Mrs. Automatic herself, Meryl Streep. Because it was made abundantly clear that this movie was made specifically to be a direct attack on President Trump from an establishment consumed and poisoned by a raw, irrational hatred for the man. Honestly, I was perhaps expecting this film to cash in on a few more nominations than this, but it is funny to witness; ONLY 2 NOMINATIONS...MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!
The Shape of Water: The big winner in both nominations and for the time being, fulfilling all the bare basics of being the favorite for Best Picture. Nominated for 13 different categories; nominations for Director, Screenplay, Acting, and Film Editing as well as numerous other technical categories; and a surefire Best Actress win for Sally Hawkins provided that Frances McDormand doesn't play spoiler. All over a film about a mute, middle-aged woman falling in love with a scaly, filmy, cat-eating sea creature, presumably from the Black Lagoon, requiring a specific solution in his water just to live, and is presumably going to stink like mad in the process. She even has sex with it. Honestly, it says a lot when the Best Picture frontrunner is a film that actually makes Bella's love triangle with a vampire and werewolf appear justifiable (at least vampires seduce members of the opposite sex to either convert into another vampire, or to feast upon; and at least werewolves are simply people who become wolves or wolfmen).
Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri: Probably my most hated movie title of the year by far (so much so that I'm just going to abbreviate the title to just Three Billboards from now on). But beyond all that, this is another one of those films that I simply dislike, but not really for the overall merits of the film but rather the kind of film that it was. Needless to say, I tend to look for satisfaction and answers in my films, even if I am not satisfied by what I've seen by the end. If not for the Best Director snub for Martin McDonaugh, this would have been the big challenger to go up against Shape of Water for Best Picture.
Will win Best Picture: Honestly, I'm leaning more towards The Shape of Water to be the big winner at the 90th Academy Awards. However, the politically charged film with the best shot at pulling a La La Land over The Shape of Water's eyes is probably going to be Lady Bird (Get Out and The Post are severely lacking in nominations).
But the film that honestly should win Best Picture? Out of that lineup, it needs to be Darkest Hour. But knowing how the Academy operates, especially nowadays, it's not really about being the Best movie of the year; it's all about which film wins big at the most award shows and then rigging it in favor of the most politically charged of the frontrunners.
Notable Oscar snubs: The Big Sick, a film that was only nominated for Screenplay, and was so under-the-radar that I honestly doubted it could have gotten into a final field of nominees anyways; and I, Tonya, which was previously a film produced by Amazon films before expanding to wide theatrical release come Oscar season. It makes sense that the Hollywood establishment would see services like YouTube, Amazon, and Netflix as the enemy in the film industry and thus would do everything they can to not give their films any credit. Same goes for Mudbound, but for Netflix. |
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Post by epicgordan on Jan 24, 2018 14:35:00 GMT -5
The only big release this weekend is Maze Runner: The Death Cure. At least they bothered to finish this trilogy without splitting the last book into two parts. So I suppose I have to give them that. But be as it may, these films suck, this came out well after the YA craze has died out, and it's ending is going to be as predictable as they come. Honestly, I don't even care to check it out.
There's also Hostiles, but that's like the fifth film from 2017 to be expanding to wide release. So there.
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stevign
New Member
Well hello there......
Posts: 25
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Post by stevign on Apr 13, 2018 9:16:42 GMT -5
"Sicario: Day of the Soldado"
Yes it's a sequel and almost all are failures or at least lessor than the original. That said, I can't wait to see it.
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